Yesterday, I Cried

The following is an excerpt from the book And Then I Gave Up: Essays About Faith and Spiritual Crisis in Islam by Umm Zakiyyah: Author’s Note: This was written when I lived in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, and taught English at an international school. It was one of those moments when you feel the tugging at your heart and the moisture behind your …

Rainy dew image with Woman in orange hijab looking toward horizon

Entitlement and Ungratefulness Ruin Lives and Marriages

“Sometimes getting lost is the only way to find your way back home. Because before then, you didn’t even realize what was home.” —from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah So often when we are recovering from a difficult trial, we focus on what we lost. In this, we are like survivors of a severe storm returning to our home to …

photo of Umm Zakiyyah overlooking the Indian Ocean at sunrise

Ramadan Is Coming and I’m Scared

“Jannah (Paradise) is not for perfect people. It is for the sinful who, in the end, didn’t give up on themselves or their Lord.”  —from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah  Ramadan is coming and I’m scared. I know many speak of Ramadan as a month they look forward to and are welcoming with eagerness and excitement. It’s not like that …

Soul Mates in Emotional Wounding

“Abusers often operate by manipulating you with what they’ve done for you. Someone’s good deeds to you NEVER gives them the excuse to abuse you. So do not allow them to make you feel bad for removing yourself from their presence due to what they’ve done for you. All good ultimately is from God and people are simply the vector. …

God Doesn’t Hate Gay People? Find a Better Argument

“Emotional abusers are masters at turning their sins into your wrongs. Your every complaint, disagreement, or expression of concern is now about you not showing them enough love, compassion, or respect. And as soon as they fear that others will see their wrongdoing for what it is, they play victim and accuse you of hurting them in some way. These …

You’ll Be Invited To Hellfire Many Times

prayer. my lord, forgive me my lord, forgive me my heart sometimes goes numb from the pain of the little girl who lost her home because she took refuge in you —even if. The following is an excerpt of I Almost Left Islam: How I Reclaimed My Faith by Umm Zakiyyah: It takes only one shot to kill a person. …

Dear Daughter, In Search of a Husband’s Love

sore throat. I’m losing my voice to laryngitis of the heart. —from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah Dear daughter and young sister in faith, I wish I could wrap the words I say to you in the language of love, in the power of experience, and in the calm solemnness of pain, then release them directly into your heart. Because …

Abuse Is a Blessing, Muslim Cults Taught Me

Who’s going to listen to you? When I was asked this question for the first time, it wasn’t really a question. It was a taunt. And I didn’t really have an answer. The man taunting me was a community leader, a respected imam, who was bragging about how he was going to drag my name through the dirt. He listed …

Reverencing the Wombs That Broke You, a self-help book

NEW! CLICK HERE for eBook Her mother was raped. This is how Melanie was born. For years, the sight of Melanie’s face reminded her mother of the sexual assault, so Melanie herself was verbally and physically abused through childhood. But Melanie’s obligation was to love and honor her mother, she told herself. This is what Melanie believed as a Christian, …