Dear Daughter, In Search of a Husband’s Love

sore throat. I’m losing my voice to laryngitis of the heart. —from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah Dear daughter and young sister in faith, I wish I could wrap the words I say to you in the language of love, in the power of experience, and in the calm solemnness of pain, then release them directly into your heart. Because …

Abuse Is a Blessing, Muslim Cults Taught Me

Who’s going to listen to you? When I was asked this question for the first time, it wasn’t really a question. It was a taunt. And I didn’t really have an answer. The man taunting me was a community leader, a respected imam, who was bragging about how he was going to drag my name through the dirt. He listed …

Reverencing the Wombs That Broke You, a self-help book

NEW! CLICK HERE for eBook Her mother was raped. This is how Melanie was born. For years, the sight of Melanie’s face reminded her mother of the sexual assault, so Melanie herself was verbally and physically abused through childhood. But Melanie’s obligation was to love and honor her mother, she told herself. This is what Melanie believed as a Christian, …

Why I Wrote Muslim Girl: They Put Me On a Pedestal Then Punished Me For It

“The loneliest place to be is on a pedestal. No mercy lives there. No understanding. No compassion. Only the expectation of perfection. Your humanness is not accepted on a pedestal—let alone celebrated. The most precious people in my life are the ones who see all of me. The sensitive, emotional side, along with the fighter. The teacher, but also the crazy …

What Does Paradise Have To Do With Anything?

Why I Wrote Pain. From the Journal of Umm Zakiyyah “Well,” I said, a bit exhausted from all the back and forth, “we all have to do what we believe will earn us Paradise.” It was my final attempt at a resolution. I was visiting a friend I’d known since childhood and whom I hadn’t seen for several years, and …

‘But I Don’t Trust God’

“But I don’t trust God,” the man said. He was a neighbor of ours and had just learned that his wife was terminally ill. Though the man was Christian, my husband had advised him to turn to God in prayer and to place his trust in Him… “You cannot even begin to understand the depths of confusion caused by believing …

Got a Survival Kit? Help for Muslim Apostates

Originally published via MuslimMatters.org “I’m just calling to let you know I’m not Muslim anymore,” the woman said to me after I picked up the phone, “and I’m cutting off contact with all Muslims except you.” This was one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had. My heart ached for this woman; I knew her story all too well. …

Are You a Sign of the Last Day?

It was while watching the Oprah Winfrey Show many years ago when I realized that times have really changed… This particular show interviewed a mother who had written and published a children’s book and dedicated it to her daughter. The mother shared with Oprah that she now realized that she had spent many of the daughter’s young years working hard …

Must Compassion Mean Supporting Sin and Wrongdoing?

This is a question that has weighed heavily on my heart for some time. Why has showing kindness and compassion come to mean openly supporting sin and wrongdoing? Why does it feel as if the ummah is gradually becoming two camps—the “judgmental” and the “compassionate”? No, I do not mean we are becoming these two groups in front of Allah. …

Your Marriage, Family, or Sheikh Could Harm Your Soul

From the Journal of Umm Zakiyyah: Too often we associate “worldly life” with material things and carnal pleasures. So when Allah cautions us to not allow this worldly life to distract us from worshipping and obeying Him, we think of fancy cars, big houses, and sexual temptations. While these things are certainly common distractions from our purpose in life, they …