Life Is Unfair, So Islam Is Unjust?

“And wish not for the things in which Allah has made some of you excel others. For men there is reward for what they have earned, [and likewise] for women there is reward for what they earned. And ask Allah of His Bounty. Surely, Allah is Ever All-Knower of everything.” —Qur’an (Al-Nisaa, The Women) 4:32 I resented my husband. It …

The Beauty of Not Forgiving

“Forgiveness is more for you than for your abuser,” we are told. And that’s true. But here’s what’s also true: Not forgiving is also more for you than for your abuser. When you make the healthy choice to not forgive because you trust in Allah’s justice, it’s more about your heart being at peace than it is about your abuser …

I Hope We All Die Together, She Said

“Black Muslims are not safe in Muslim spaces, which falsely offer ‘sanctuary’ but end up being asylums of pain.” —Layla Abdullah-Poulos Rage building inside me, I breathed in and out as I walked away from the computer. I recited some supplications to Allah to calm my anger, but the term “holy whores” kept playing over and over in my mind. …

You’re Not a Scholar, Why Should We Listen To You?

“I’ve read almost all of his books, and I’ve never seen him say anything even close to that,” I said in response to the woman’s claim that a well-known scholar should not be trusted because he was involved in teaching some specific concepts that were contrary to the basic principles of Islam. “That’s because you don’t have the knowledge to …

When Family Hurts: Daughter of Rape Seeks Healing

The following is an excerpt from Reverencing the Wombs That Broke You, wherein we learn the true story of Melanie Davidson, a convert to Islam who is a survivor of abuse: Is it true? Does God say I must honor my father? But how do I honor a man who dishonored my mother, who dishonored me? —the child born of …

People Will Abandon You When You’re Hurting

The following are excerpts from Umm Zakiyyah’s latest books I Almost Left Islam and The Abuse of Forgiveness: In my fear of tying my heart and life to something that would harm my soul in some irrevocable way, I began to more and more distance myself from religious groups and communities. However, this was an extremely lonely experience, and I …

Abuse Is a Blessing, Muslim Cults Taught Me

Who’s going to listen to you? When I was asked this question for the first time, it wasn’t really a question. It was a taunt. And I didn’t really have an answer. The man taunting me was a community leader, a respected imam, who was bragging about how he was going to drag my name through the dirt. He listed …

The Truth Is Scary, But I Had To Tell It

I suppose some will see it as courageous to share with the world why I almost left Islam. And maybe some will see it as the unnecessary uncovering of my faults. But for me, it wasn’t a choice. Yes, it’s humiliating and embarrassing, but due to all the stress I was under, the decision was effectively made for me. It …