“An apology, if it is truly an apology, is no more than a hope and a prayer—that the damage you’ve done can be repaired, and that you will be forgiven by both your Lord and the ones you’ve wronged. An apology should never be shared for the purpose of silencing or dismissing those hurt by the original transgression. If it …
The Other Side of Hurt: It’s Not About You
No one should have to apologize for taking care of themselves. This is something that took me a long time to realize and embrace in my life, and I’m still striving to do better at avoiding saying “I’m sorry” for taking care of myself during a time that people deem inconvenient for themselves, or when they feel my absence proves …
Unconditional Love Doesn’t Exist, Nor Is It Praiseworthy
“Too much control thrives when family members cling to a myth that everything is perfect when it’s not.” —Dan Neuharth, If You Had Controlling Parents The following is an excerpt from Reverencing the Wombs That BROKE You by Umm Zakiyyah: Perhaps it is through observing the enduring affection between mother and child that has most significantly inspired our concepts of unconditional love, …
Reality of Ramadan: You Might Not Benefit
“Ramadan is the month of mercy, not the month of perfection. You’ll still make mistakes, and you’ll still fall short at times. But Allah’s mercy remains. Seek it, and don’t give up.” —from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah The following is an excerpt from the book And Then I Gave Up: Essays About Faith and Spiritual Crisis in Islam by Umm Zakiyyah: I returned …
Maybe It’s Divorce We’re Taking Lightly
“Marriage is not the end of the rainbow, and divorce is not the end of the world.” —from the journal of Umm Zakiyyah The following is an excerpt from the book Let’s Talk About Sex and Muslim Love by Umm Zakiyyah: “This is really a shame,” the woman said. “The divorce rate of Muslims is so high. Why are Muslims taking marriage …
She Couldn’t Have Sex with Her Husband: Modesty Gone Too Far
She was taught that sex was dirty and shameful, so she was never allowed to talk about it. In her family and culture, this thinking was considered the highest form of modesty. But unfortunately, this “modesty” led her to have so much anxiety about sex and nudity that she didn’t even feel relaxed enough to let her own husband touch …
Nobody Cares About Black Muslims, He Said
alone. it hurts. I cannot lie to be abandoned by those who look like me because I see the other as brethren too and then to be abandoned by the other my brethren in faith. because I look like me —even if. The following is an excerpt from the book Prejudice Bones in My Body by Umm Zakiyyah: The first …
Strawberry Prayers: A Lesson of Ramadan Love
The following is an excerpt from the book And Then I Gave Up: Essays About Faith and Spiritual Crisis in Islam by Umm Zakiyyah: My little brother loved strawberries. Whenever my father would come home with a cardboard box full of fruit, the sweet scent would seep through the slots on the side, and my little brother would come running. His chubby …
When Religion Is a Weapon: Understanding Spiritual Abuse
emotional abuse. the etiquette of disagreement in cults and sects and in families who love you so much that they hurt you for their own good. —even if. The following is an excerpt from Reverencing the Wombs That BROKE You by Umm Zakiyyah: Spiritual abuse is arguably the least talked about form of abuse. However, in religious families and communities, …
I Didn’t Become Muslim To Be Abused, She Said
boundaries. you give them an inch, and they take your soul. —even if. There were many moments that my heart hurt as I sat listening to Sakinah “The Muslim Hippie” recount the painful experiences that she shared with me for the book No One Taught Me the Human Side of Islam: The Muslim Hippie’s Story of Living with Bipolar Disorder. …